Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Desperately in Love

Don't find love. Let love find you.

I read this is my news feed today. And it struck me. Because for awhile, I was desperately looking for love. Trying hard to make more of the relationship which I have right now.

I guess, I just long for that feeling. The feeling of having someone special. Someone to share your experiences/plans with. Someone to worry if you're not yet home when it's already late. Someone to wish you to have a great day at work. Someone to tell you how pretty you are in your dress. Someone to tell you how much he misses you. Someone to call your own.

Been feeling lonely for a time now. And to have someone, who would do those things for you even though you know they're not seriously into you, would make you feel really good. It would make you hope that, maybe, just maybe, it could turn to something else. Something deeper, not just a casual fling.

I admit being 28 and single is kinda scary. Specially, if you're the type who does see yourself spending your life with a partner and with a family. I don't even plan to progress much in my career because I really want to be a housewife and to be a stay-home mom. Some people think it's pathetic and a waste of my talent, but that's where my heart is. I am not really a corporate woman type.

The uncertainty makes you anxious and would make you take things into your own hands. You might say nothing is wrong with that. But admittedly, I know I can't trust myself. Because I am too afraid to end up alone, I try look for love at wrong places and just settle to what I can find.

Honestly, I don't have a bunch of checklist. I have a simple taste for guys. But for some reason, I tend to end up with guys who I know could harm me in the long run. I guess they can just sense my desperation and take advantage of it. Or maybe I am just so stupid and naive.

But if you'll think about your worth, you'll realize how much you deserve. After all, I was saved and seen precious by God. If you can see your true worth, you won't settle for anything less. Yes, it's hard to trust without knowing. But always know that you have a God who deeply cares and loves you so much.

I know how much love I can give and I want someone deserving to be at the receiving end. For now, I just have to wait, pray and be excited for what He has in stored for me. And definitely, I'll experience love truer and more magical that I can imagine.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. - Psalm 139:14

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Virtual Love

When I hear that a couple met online, I always say to myself "Naaah. They're not going to last". Yes. I am that cynical, judgmental girl. I've never believed in long distance relationship specially of one that is built online. But funny how things turned out because now, I'm in one.

I met him on ON.com. An app I downloaded from Playstore. The reason why I did it? Because I was bored (I was unemployed that time) and I am interested on meeting some new people from another country. I remember meeting a few friends on Yahoo chatrooms back when I was in highschool (I wonder what happened to them). And I was hoping to do the same now. But apparently most people now in chatrooms are more interested on having sex than exchanging ideas or clean conversations.

On ON.com, you post your pictures for other people to like and to start-up conversations. For few days, most of the guys I've met are only interested to see me naked and to talk dirty with me, which is really disappointing. Until he came along...

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I wrote this entry last October 2013. Wasn't able to finish and publish it. But I am posting this anyway. An update though, the guy I was talking about in this blog, well, we are no longer "together". I ended things with him because I met someone. Someone I thought was a keeper. But I was HELL wrong. Maybe it was a mistake that I ended my relationship with him. But it is what it is. He is now happy with someone else. I'll always consider him as a friend though. What we had is good and I don't regret downloading that app and meeting him. Maybe not the ending I was hoping for but I know that what we had is true. I am grateful that he has been a part of my life. Even just for a moment.... 7 months to be exact.